Do you know how it feels to saturate yourself in the things and people that bring you joy?
To curl up into the folds of the experiences and people that fill you with utter bliss?
Do you know?
I thought I did because JOY is one of many things I pray for often.
I love and want to en-JOY my life.
I am a black girl who frolics — I play and move cheerfully, excitedly, and energetically.
This is me or who I thought I was.
Until December 31st, 2020 rolls around, and I decided to spend the morning chatting with God and I was met with this…
“It is okay to fully embrace the joy and goodness in your life, both big and small. You operate at the edge of the beautiful things in your life. You operate at the edge of joy because you are afraid you will idolize the amazing things in your life when you step into them fully.”
I knew where He was coming from…
You see I had recently de-cluttered, rearranged, and redecorated my room!
And I was loving it, well…more like standing at the edge of admitting that I loved it and was proud of it. It wasn’t as great as my favorite room from a few years ago, but it was the best it had been since I moved in more than 3 years ago.
I had gotten rid of things I didn’t use or like and the things that didn’t make my soul soar. I had bought jewelry organizers, shoe organizers, and raffia baskets to store things nicely, and I also cleared out under my bed and my closet.
However, I found myself standing on the edge of the joy that comes from once again having a room that felt like my zen space.
It felt too trivial and inconsequential a thing to enjoy. “A room? How conceited is that?” was the thought I had subconsciously harbored and believed.
And that mindset does spill into large and monumental blessings like a successful business, a great man, great health, my amazing family, a new car…you name it. At least it was for me!
And sitting in God’s presence on the last day of 2020, I was lovingly reminded to embrace the pleasures in my life fully and with my full chest (as us…