Sway of Your Hands
Today marks the fourth month of my pain; I was hurting before, but not like this. Today is the four-month anniversary of the day my heart broke. I remember the emotions that overwhelmed me as my heart got clawed apart. In that moment, I looked back at the experiences that got me there. The trips. The cruises. The debauchery. I was naive. Four months ago, while in excruciating pain, I watched the last thirty-five years of my life flash across the white wall of our bedroom. Thirty -five years projected in just seconds.
My heart is dead, and all that is left of it is this potent pain. It propels me to move. I hurt intensely. Today marks the fourth month of my demise. The sway of your hands left me trembling, and I was riveted by the passion dancing across your face. Flesh met flesh, and in that moment, I felt love, fear and shame. I looked up and the sway of your loving hands as it fell across my face took me back many years to our initial encounter.
It was a rainy day in the heart of the nation’s capital. I was leaning on the inside of a bus-stand at the corner of K and 21st waiting for the next bus. The sky had emptied out the best part of its wrath, and I had earlier stopped, albeit reluctantly, to pick up an umbrella from a roadside vendor. I was heading home. I was engrossed in a dialogue with myself regarding my upcoming trip to Florida. I was trying to figure out what to pack when I felt the sting of a foreign object on my side. It was you standing next to me at the bus stand, and your umbrella’s spikes were poking into me. Understanding your innocence, I moved a few steps away, but your umbrella followed. Not only were its spikes poking into me, they was caught in my jacket.
“You really had to stand that close.” I thought.
“Excuse me.” I said.
That was how I met you. A chance meeting with your umbrella became the love relationship that slowly deprecated into hand dancing. I was captivated by the words you spoke, but they slowly became slurs.
I hurt from the words you spewed, but it was the sway of your hands that turned me in.
Today marks the fourth month anniversary of when you first hit me.
Originally published at www.adeolafadumiye.com.